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Books for adults

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The Great Behavior Breakdown

Dr. B. Bryan Post

Great Behavior BreakdownJust a few days ago The Post Institute sent me a copy of The Great Behavior Breakdown. It covers quite a bit of the material from a seminar I took with Dr. Post a year or so ago - information that rings true to me.

Post starts the main portion of the book with a preface titled "On Life in the Trenches" where he describes a scene in his home where an older kid - nearly an adult - had come to live with he and his family. At one point, the stay became highly destructive. Post describes how he felt and the steps that he too. It is an apt beginning to a book, that is largely, about learning patience and understanding.

The introduction introduces the reader to some core concepts:

  • You need to accept a paradigm shift in your parenting
  • The Stress Model: all behaviours stem from stress. There are only two core emotions - love and fear.
  • The Four Layers of Memory. Most of what we do is unconscious.

    "When we encounter a novel event or stimuli, we perceive that event as a threat until deemed otherwise."1

  • The difference between "discipline" and "punishment".
  • The Fear Barrier.
  • That we all have "Unfinished Business".

Beyond Consequences, Logic, and Control

Heather T. Forbes
B. Bryan Post

Heather Forbes and Bryan Post look at the behaviours of Children of Trauma with a complete twist. A child who has been abused or neglected doesn't act out of anger or hate (the prevailing view) but out of fear. The posit that there are only two base emotions that of Love and Fear. With enough unconditional love (which brings peace and joy), the Child of Trauma can be slowly healed.

The book is an easy read with lots of examples that parents who have children with Attachment Issues will easily relate to.

Parenting Your Adopted Child

Andrew Adesman
Christine Adamec

This book strives to answer common concerns such as:

  • Why, when, and how do I explain adoption to my child and others?
  • How can I help my child deal with adoption at different stages of life?
  • How do I nurture a strong relationship between siblings?
  • How do I bond with my newborn?

1-2-3 Magic - Effective Discipline for Children 2-12

Thomas W. Phelan

Parenting isn't easy and this book strives to help you figure out how to influence your children. It runs through three steps:

  1. Controlling Abnoxious Behaviour
  2. Encouraging Good Behavioiur
  3. Strengthening Your Relationship

    From the back of the book:

Three Little Words

Ashley Rhodes-Courter

This book was written by a girl who spent many years in the foster care system in Tampa, Florida. It gave me a lot of insight into what foster kids are thinking and the fears and frustrations they encounter. I was even surprised to learn why so many kids still have anxiety after their adoptions are finalized.

I think it is a must read, especially for those of us who adopted children out of the foster care system. It will definitely change how you think about their situations.

Solve Your Child's Sleep Problems

Richard Ferber
Does your kid get up in the middle of the night? Does she have trouble getting to sleep? Is he a sleepwalker? Does she have night terrors? This book has tons of tips to help kids get to sleep and stay asleep.

Twenty Things Adopted Kids Wish Their Adoptive Parents Knew

Sherrie Eldridge

Parenting with Love & Logic

Foster Cline
Jim Fay

Responsibility is learned through practice. In Love and Logic, parents learn to help children do well, not through threats or punishments. Children learn to control their own lives through responsible problem solving.

From Chaos to Calm

Janet E. Heininger
Sharon K. Weiss

This book is targeted towards families that are in chaos. If you kid challenges you all the time.

The idea is to help parents be proactive, set goals, cope with stalling, and avoid traps.