When my wife and I started training as foster parents four years ago, one of the things we were told was,

"This is a completely different kind of parenting.  On the surface, it is the same--the basic nurturing, caring, feeding, and clothing but you need to be aware that behaviours are going to be more intense.  Your friends and family who are not parents from the foster-care system will not understand the challenges you are going to be working through.  You will hear things like, "oh, that's just what kids do" when you try and explain some kind of defiant act your kid is engaged in.  They won't comprehend how intense these behaviours are because they have no base-line from which to gauge."

This is a true series of statements.  Your friends and family will, to a greater or lesser extent, get some of it but not all of it.  4gifts.from.god is right on track in her personal introduction when she writes,

"Most people can't see the progress, or understand when I get excited and brag about having a "normal" day.  (We don't get those often.)"

I think that most parents of Children of Trauma are happy when they get part of a "Normal Day". There can be a sense of isolation that comes with this kind of parenting.

There are moments when you just think to yourself:

Why doesn't this kid get how good s/he has got it?  What isn't s/he GLAD to have a normal home/family?

In the midst of a meltdown: 

What are you thinking?  How does this help make things better?  Do you really think that this is going to help you get what YOU want?  What have I gotten myself into?  Will we ever have normal?

Our kids are often simply not ready to give back.  They don't know how to.  Buried deep in their little psyches there is a little goblin reminding them that if they love, give, or are compliant the result is painful.  Little by little, they do give a little love though--and it doesn't hurt--it feels pretty good in fact and they learn that giving back is not just ok but is really good.  This can take many years of effort because being walled off is "safe" and opening up is making yourself vulnerable is "dangerous".

When friends and family don't "get it", try and be patient with them.  They often don't have the same compass that is guiding you.  Revel in your own little victories and remember that they might not resonate with your immediate circle, but other fost/adopt parents will understand exactly what each of they mean and will know that a little victory can be gigantic.  Trust is slowly built.