Growing up aware and proud to be adopted.

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Armageddon73's picture
Joined: 09/23/2010
User offline. Last seen 8 years 21 weeks ago.

Hello, my name is Aaron and I was adopted, to Hank and Judy, in the spring of 1973. I am very fortunate, my adopted parents are of the highest character. More importantly, their love is unconditional. This is all an adoptee can ask for. That at no point, never, no matter how mad, you, as a parent, ever give the slightest notion that the thought enters your mind. No matter how fleeting, how momentary, how unintentional, how irrational, your child will know. They will sense any second thoughts, any regrets, any emotion or thought or feeling that betrays the developing contract between parent and child. This regretable emotional display by parent (again the slightest gesture, mental or physical) allows the fear, the insecurity, the lack of identity, the "reality" of the ultimate rejection, to quickly overcome your childs consouisness and consume their every waking and sleeping moment.

This is my number one lesson. Above all, never question. No looking back. No matter how hard, you can't give a child back, physicaly, mentaly, or emotionaly. It is not easy to completely forbid this as a tool during particularly nasty (but very normal) parent-child conflicts. The reality is no matter how profound your love for another human being may be, nothing can replicate or replace a genetic, blood connection. The fact you cannot re-create this connection should in no way undermine the parent child relationship. Removing the DNA link also rids the Parent-Child relationship of many dangers, pitfalls and jealousies that arise in blood relations.

Above All Love.




MatthewS's picture
Joined: 10/29/2008
User offline. Last seen 3 years 31 weeks ago.

Thanks for joining this little community Aaron and sharing your experience and wisdom.