The requirements vary from state to state, but in general they follow a common path.  The process is not short, so be prepared to make an investment in your time before even having a chance for a placement in your home.  Also, be aware that a large part of the introduction and initiation is designed to scare you.  Social services really want to make sure that those they train are in for the long haul.  Also, it is really important to understand that just because you start looking at fost/adoption as a way to build your family does not mean you are committed to that path.  I’ll be repeating this through out the post.

1. Find an public agency that deals with foster care and adoptions.  Often this is your county or State Department of Social Services. There is a very partial list of these kinds of agencies in the top right navigation of this site. (If you know of any not listed, please register and add the ones you know).
2. Generally these agencies have introductory seminars/meetings that tell you the basics on the process that you’ll follow.  I know a caseworker who conducts these trainings personally, and they really don’t expect a vast return rate from these meetings.  Just because you attend, doesn’t commit you.  Unless you attend one, you’ll never know if this is the right path for you!
3. If you decide you want to go down this path, you have to be registered and licensed as a foster parent whether you want to be a foster parent, an adoptive parent, or both.  This probably sounds more scary than it really is.
4. You will be required to take a certain number of hours of training at your local social services.  This varies from state to state, but basically this covers the basics of what to expect in adopting or fostering a child of trauma.  In my training, it included a video where children’s voices talk about what horrors they’ve been through with still images and words on the screen.  There wasn’t a dry eye in the class and it is burned into my brain.
5. A case worker will come to your home to ensure that your home is up-to-snuff to have a child in your home.  This is because, for all intents and purposes, you become an extension of the Social Services system and your home must meet certain standards.  For example, you must have a certain number of fire extinguishers in your home, each child in your home must have a certain number of square feet allocated for sleep, you must have an adequate bed, you must have a fenced yard, and so on.  You will receive a copy of these requirements well before your visit and if something isn’t quite right, you’ll be told how to remedy it.
6. You will need to undergo a home-study.  A social worker comes to your home two or three times.  She or he will interview you, your spouse (if you have one), and then interview you together.  This is a way of assessing if you are in an emotional place that you can engage in the duties of being a foster parent.
7. You will have a background check at the police station.  The police will take your fingerprints and run them against different databases to make sure you are who you say you are and that you haven’t committed any egregious crimes.
8. After you have taken the requisite courses, have passed your home study, your home checks out, and your background check passes you are in a waiting game to wait for a child that is a match.  It is important to note, that the case workers are less interested in the match from the foster parent side, but from the child’s side.
9. When a match is made, you are called and asked to come in for a “Presentation”.  At the presentation, you are given the background of the child in as much detail as is available.  This will include a discussion of the biological parent’s situation.  At this point, the child has been in a receiving home (at very least) and may have been in a full fledged foster home as well.  Attendees at presentation often include the current foster parent(s), the case-worker, the Guardian-ad-Litem, and the child’s therapist.  They will each give you an assessment of who the child is, issues that exist, background, and so forth.  You will be encouraged to ask questions.  At the end, you will be asked if you want to meet the child.  You will also be informed if there are any relatives that might be able to take on the role of guardian.
10. Your first meeting might occur at the child’s current Foster family’s home.  It is generally very short.  You might take the child out for a short meal.  You are not committed to fostering and ultimately adopting the child at this point.
11. If you decide to proceed, the likely-hood is that that child will not have had “Termination of Parental Rights” yet.  This means that the biological parents are being given a chance to get it together and prove to a judge that they are fit to be parents.  This means that, before TPR occurs, you will be bringing your foster-child to social services on a weekly basis for visits.  You do not have to meet the bio-parents if you don’t want to—social services will take care of the visitation which typically is one hour.  Be aware that you are likely to see radical swings in behaviour when your foster-child has these meetings.

    During this time you are required to request permission from the case worker if you want to engage in almost any kind of activity that is out of the norm.  For example, to travel outside the State you must have a permission slip.  If your child wants to play football, you must get permission from the State.

    You are not legally bound to adopt the child at this point, but think long and hard if you decide to terminate at this point.  Once you agree to take the child into your home with the expectation of becoming the child’s parent, IF you decide to not follow through it is called a disruption.  The child is likely to be affected in a negative way if you decide to disrupt.  Most case workers will ask you NOT to talk to the child about your becoming his or her “Forever Family” but I promise it will come up.  Don’t make any promises that you aren’t going to follow through on.  These kids have had enough heartbreak.

    Normally you will also fill out paperwork as the child’s foster-care parent.  You will receive a modest child maintenance allowance during this period.

12. You will also have regular visits at your home from the case-worker until finalisation,  Once a month is pretty typical.  The worker will take a quick peek around the house, talk to you, and talk to the child.
13. You will likely have a couple of visits from the child’s Lawyer, also known as a Guardian-ad-Litem.  It is his or her responsibility to look out for the best interests of your foster-child.  This is not your lawyer—this is your foster-child’s lawyer.
14. Termination of Parental Rights—If the bio-parents can’t prove to the judge that they are fit to resume parenting, the rights of those parents are terminated.  At this point the child is “Free and Clear” for adoption.  Normally the courts have exhausted relatives that might be able to assume guardianship.  
15. Normally, the child must have been in your foster care for 6 months prior to finalisation.  Finalisation is the legal process where-by you become the legal parent of the child.  You will go to court and a judge or magistrate will ask several questions of you, of the GAL, of the child, of the caseworkers, and so on.  Be aware that you will be on one side of the court of the defendant and your soon-to-be child will be on the other side with his or her lawyer. This is your last chance to legally back-out.  Again, by this point the child’s expectations are now in the stratosphere.  Unless there is a compelling reason to not follow though, you ought to.
16. In this interim period, you will be chatting with Social Services to negotiate the support the State or County will provide you and your family.  Typically this is a modest child maintenance allowance and health care until your child is 18.
17. Once finalisation is complete, you will go to records and fill out some paperwork.  That paper-work will be sent to the State department that deals with birth certificates.  In a few days you will be able to pick up a new birth certificate with your child’s new name (if you opted to change it) and you as the parent.  You can’t back out anymore.  You are the child’s legal parent.

In most cases, Social Services will pay for nearly everything.  You will likely pay for the background check and court costs.

Typically, working with more than one adoption entity at a time is frowned upon.  If you ask the Social Services how long you need to wait for placement prior to being able to work with another agency they will be up front with you.  If you have a placement from elsewhere before that period of time and withdraw your home for placement, they will often ask you to pay for the training you’ve received.