The Orientation
Tonight we had our first meeting with the Foster Coordinator for our county. Basically with was the orientation to the program. She had an outline in front of her, but said since it was just us we could just ask any questions we had. And so we did. By the end of the meeting she gave us the outline, and low-and-behold we'd covered everything on the outline and much more. Not to say we won't have a million more questions as time progresses, but we definitely have a good base of information. Sherry made us feel so comfortable, and was so easy to talk to. We both felt really comfortable talking to her, and she really has a passion for what she does. Nate was even comfortable too. He was playing games on my iPhone while reclining on a rocker, and had a great time. Nate got an opportunity to ask questions to. He asked if it would be okay to give whoever comes to live with us kisses. Sherry handled the question perfectly, it was so cute.
So, what did we find out? We found out that once we turn in the application, we are "engaged" to a specific department. So Sherry suggested we shop around a bit to ensure working with her is what we feel the most comfortable with. She even said she would be happy to give us the names of coordinators in neighboring counties. As far as counties go, we may call one or two, but I think we would be very happy with her. We may try to contact Jewish Family Services, and/or a couple of the local rabbis to see what resources they recommend within the Jewish community.
Our only real requirement, so far, is for a child younger than Nate. We would love a little girl, but we will welcome any child if the match is right. Sherry agreed, that if the child is young, the child should definitely be younger than Nate to maintain the birth order. The only time the child should be older than Nate is if he or she is much older, say 13 or 14. We probably won't go in that direction, but hey, nothing is definite yet. I also asked if there are restrictions on opposite sex placements, and she said she didn't see that as an issue.
We also asked about cost. Going through our county/city would be very inexpensive for us. The County basically covers all the main requirement costs except doctor visits to get the "your healthy" signature, and CPR classes. So, definitely cost effective.
The one draw back, if it really is a drawback, is it could take longer working in such a small county. However, she said if she can't get a placement made in six months we can look outside the county, and she would still be the go-between for us and the other county coordinators. So, I don't see the downside of sticking with her and our local jurisdiction. I like the idea of staying within a small community.
So what's next? Mel and I need to have some conversations re: expectations, how to proceed, etc. Get the applications and paperwork filled out and back to Sherry, and let the fun begin. We don't know who's out there waiting to meet us, but we are excited to find out what and who is in store for us. And who is going to make our home complete!! We figure there is a reason we were never successfully pregnant a second time. We like to say "Nate broke the mold"! We are meant to give a child in need a forever home and the love they so deserve.
Stay tuned for more on our journey.
Comments
Thoughts with you
Wow, KCassio (you two). I read this and can hardly breath. This reads so lightly; make no mistake, you are adopting a stranger. As a (parent) stranger, I'm invested and lifted.
And there's such a beautiful act of international hope and peace, so silently but tenaciously expressed by you two.
I am not adopting, I'm merely parenting ("our own" - in theory, this all came from us, somehow). But I am transfixed by your account.
No, with a small number of other witnessed, extraordinary commitments, you give hope in humanity.
Go, go, go.
My great grandfather, who lived to 96, once told me: "With any stranger, start with one thing you both love. That is what friendships come from." I never contemplated that with my children (I feed them, right?!?). Maybe this would be helpful to you, maybe not.
Go, go, go.
Yes, A Stranger...
I Agree. This is an amazing thing that you are choosing to do. Not only will this person be a stranger, but likely will be a stranger who has had a dark bad life until you and your husband come into the light. Be understanding as you enter into this new relationship - because in some ways it will be the most difficult relationship you ever have. You'll be asked to commit before you really have all the information - because the information is revealed as you parent. Once you commit, there is no turning back unless you are willing to hurt an already damaged soul once again.
As you embark, don't allow yourself to feel isolated. Your family and friends will think they know the trials you will bear but they won't really know. Reach out to the fostadopt community and find fellowship and support from others who have done what you are embarking upon.
Finally, WELCOME to a pretty exclusive club.
Sounds like you had a good
Sounds like you had a good meeting! Yes, adopting through social services is very cost effective. You also will normally get a stipend each month that you foster or are an adoptive parent until the kiddo is 18.